Dancing with my Dark Reflection

In a state of freedance, I looked in the mirror in the dark, and met the dark magic, powerful goddess who lives in my reflection. 

She scares me, but I can’t live without her. She is part of me and must be heard. 

What does she want? 

I can’t see her face clearly – it is blurry and so dark, she just looks at me, and it seems at any moment that she will morph into the powerful darkness. 

I just have to keep dancing. 

Who is she? I want to know her.
She has always been there, since I was a little girl, I have been running from her. She scares me with her power. 

But she is me.

 

Written and photographed while living in Cairo, Spring 2011

Coping with being in a place of uncertainty

There are times in life where it feels as if one is adrift in a wild raging river, clinging for life to a lone floating branch... This is an exercise in holding tight and letting the river take you where it will.

Change can be terrifying and even depressing. Without a doubt being in a place of uncertainty and/or transition is one of the most uncomfortable places to be. However, these in-between times cannot be discounted, for they are also the birth of new parts of your life. Although difficult, we must come to terms with these times of our lives and use them to learn as much as possible about ourselves. Self-exploration is important and uncertainty brings out parts of ourselves that we don't usually have to face.

This usually happens to me when I don't have a very busy schedule and am trying to figure out the next step in my career/education/life. One of the best "coping mechanisms" that I have found is to create a semi-strict schedule for myself. This eliminates at least the day-to-day uncertainty and gives me enough structure in my life for me to feel almost-normal. From there I am better able to do the soul-searching that is needed to get through the time of transition. Physical activity during these times is very important, because it helps my outlook stay positive and my body feel healthy. I also find that it really helps to talk to someone with neutral opinions (like a therapist, or a close friend or family member who stays as neutral as possible) and process through my thoughts and ideas with them. Speaking out loud about my thoughts has a way of helping me see them from different perspectives.

Eventually, looking back, these times will seem like a blessing, and I will be grateful that I took the time to allow myself to wander thoughtfully through this place of uncertainty.

The Essence of Exploration

My essence is a shapeshifter.

My soul likes to experiment with confusion.

My body dances into different shapes through brilliantly colored tutus. Sometimes I wear all black.

I am an explorer.

I enjoy joyfully expanding into a new persona, exploring new ways of thinking, looking in new directions.

I flourish between the sacred privacy of being covered with sumptuous fabrics to celebrations of bare feminine sensuality.

No facade of drug-induced false realities will ever appeal to me. There are too many places, thoughts, too much true sparkle to need a diversion.

Exploration does not only come in the form of traveling to far away places. It means becoming familiar with the unknown inside yourself. It means letting yourself be pulled in unexpected directions by the flow of the universe.

Never stop learning, be a student of this existence.

(street art, photo taken in Asilah, Morocco by moi, Sept. 2012)

Rumi: The Moon is the Same Moon

I adore Rumi. I read this poem recently and it struck home. Enjoy!

The Moon is the Same Moon

Know that the world of created things
Is like pure and limpid water
In which shine the attributes
Of the Omnipotent One
Consciousness, justice, mercy
Are like stars of heaven
Reflected in the running water.
Kings are the theater
Of the royalty of God;
Sages are the mirrors
Of God's Eternal Wisdom.
Generations have passed away,
A new generation has come;
The moon is the same moon
But the water's not the same.
Justice is the same justice,
Knowledge the same knowledge,
But generation has replaced generation
In a long and endless chain.
Generation after generation
Have gone into the dark
But the Divine Attributes
Are changeless and eternal.
The water in this river
Has changed innumerable times;
The reflection of the moon and stars
Has remained unaltered.
Its origin is not the water
But the Light-Kingdoms of Heaven.

(Originally from the Mathnawi; Source: Teachings of Rumi by Andrew Harvey)

Can't sleep = new blog.

Well, it's 2:09am on a Thursday night. I've been trying to sleep since midnight with no success. So, I decided to create a blog where I can speak about ... well, anything and everything that I feel like speaking about! This may include, but is not limited to:

- travels
- food
- fashion
- venting about frustrating things
- dance
- Arabic, Islam, Egypt, the Middle East, etc.
- life in Colorado
- fricking philosophy!
- nerdy things like *science*!
- rambling about nothing


K bye.